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Video Transcripts

Applying Feedback to Your Paper: Grammar Feedback

Last update 3/27/2018

 

Visual: Walden logo at bottom of screen along with notepad and pencil background.

Audio: Guitar music.

 

Visual: “Walden University Writing Center. Your writing, grammar, and APA experts” appears in center of screen. Background changes to a laptop and notebook a person is writing in on a table with the title “Applying Feedback to Your Paper: Grammar Feedback.”

The screen then changes to show a sample paper with the following paragraph and feedback in a comment bubble from writing instructor Beth Nastachowski; the comment bubble is attached to the phrasing highlighted in the paragraph below:

Literacy leaders today are responsible for providing a literacy plan that will align with the vision, mission, and objectives of a district. In the District of Rutherford County, the vision focus is on the whole child, including the social, emotional, and educational needs of each individual student. Therefore, a literacy plan for the English language learners (ELL) program will create a culture of collaborative learning that encompasses the whole child, assuring success in the global community by preparing students to be college and career ready. Furthermore, the district’s mission is to assure the academic and personal success of each student by providing effective support and strategies for ELLs. Thus, the purpose of the literacy plan for a Title 1 school in Tennessee is to promote academic achievement for each child which also encourages students’ confidence, perseverance, resilience, and a desire for life-long learning.

Comment bubble:

Here we’re missing an apostrophe “s” to show that this “focus” belongs to the “vision”. Apostrophes can be tricky, but they’re important because they help show the relationship between nouns in a sentence.

Because “vision” is singular, we add an apostrophe then “s”: the vision’s focus.

If “vision” was plural, we’d add the apostrophe after the “s”.

I noticed a couple of other places apostrophes are missing in your draft. Use the example here to look for those places, adding apostrophes to clarify the sentences. Let me know if you have any questions!

As the speaker continues, she points out the grammar error by circling it and the components of the feedback in the comment bubble.

Audio: In this video, we’ll focus on how to apply grammar feedback to your writing. If you haven’t yet, be sure to watch our introductory video first, “Applying Feedback Principles.”

What might that grammar feedback look like?

Here’s an example: In this comment, the writing instructor is pointing out a grammar error, a missing apostrophe. She explains the error and why it can cause clarity issues, showing how to fix this particular error. She then asks the student to find other places there may be similar errors.

 

Visual: The screen changes to another sample paper with the following paragraph and feedback in a comment bubble from writing instructor Beth Nastachowski; the comment bubble is attached to the phrasing highlighted in the paragraph below:

                Nursing plays an important role in the successful adoption and evaluation of new technology systems, nurses may have resistance if they perceive something new in the technology as difficult to use or inconvenient.  Developers of any electronic system need to adhere to factors (such as efficiency, ease of use, and training on the programs) affecting the medical personnel’s acceptance of the new system to meet their clinical needs (Hsiao, Chang, & Chen, 2011).  There needs to be a benefit of using a new technology system in the clinical setting to prove to the staff that it has a place there and that they need to utilize it, nurses are more likely to adopt technology that facilitates effective and efficient workflow.  Nursing embraces any process that increases safety for patients, is more efficient, and improves patient satisfaction (Virginia Nurses Today, 2010). These are all factors nurse administrators should keep in mind when choosing and implementing new technology.

Comment bubble:

This is an example of a run-on sentence. A run-on sentence is when two complete thoughts aren’t fully separated, causing the ideas to sort of run together. This comma can’t fully separate the ideas on their own.

Instead, the two complete sentences—or complete ideas—should be separated with a period or you could add “and” with the comma. Here’s how this might look: “…technology systems. Nurses may…”

Either option would be grammatically correct. However, choose the option that best makes sense in term of flow or how long you want this sentence to be.

As the speaker continues, she points out the grammar error by circling it and the components of the feedback in the comment bubble.

Audio: Here’s another example: Here as well, the writing instructor is commenting on a grammar error, this time a run-on sentence. She explains the error and possible ways to revise, showing an example. She then asks the student to consider the revision options and to choose one of those options.

Note that in this second example, the writing instructor doesn’t explicitly ask the student to apply this rule throughout the paper or look for other places to revise. However, the student should still do so; whether the person giving you feedback explicitly asks you to apply the feedback or not, the reality is that we often make similar mistakes throughout our writing. So, even when you aren’t explicitly asked to apply feedback in your writing, make sure you do so anyways.

 

Visual: The screen changes to show the following slide: Appropriate Revision Strategies

Highlighting: underlining, circling

Word’s search function: CTRL + F

Automated grammar checkers: spell check or Grammarly

Audio: Before we look at how to apply grammar feedback throughout your paper, let’s talk about the revision strategies we recommend you use when applying grammar feedback.

First, try highlighting or some form of highlighting, like underlining or circling. Identify the grammar error you need to revise for, then read through your draft looking just for that error. Mark any other errors of the same grammar rule you see, then once you’ve gone through your entire paper, go back to those highlights to fix them.

Second, try the search function in Word, which you can also use via the shortcut CTRL+F. Search for the error, using Word to help you identify the places you need to make changes. Note that this strategy works best when the grammar error is consistent; for example, maybe the grammar error is about the use of a comma. In that case, you could search all uses of commas. However, other grammar errors may not be searchable, like verb tenses, which vary from verb to verb.

Third, try an automated grammar checker. These may include Word’s spell check feature or Grammarly. Both of these computer programs can help you check for grammar, although you always want to use them carefully. As computer programs, they can also make mistakes, so be sure to review any changes spell check or Grammarly suggests to ensure it makes sense in the context of the sentence. For example, both spell check and Grammarly can identify errors that aren’t actually errors and can also miss errors—for example, both programs can have trouble identifying run-on sentences.

 

Visual: The screen changes back to the first sample paper.

Audio: Now that we know what grammar feedback might look like and the revision strategies we might use to correct grammar errors, let’s apply this feedback in the paper. Here’s our first comment about the missing apostrophe. I’m going to add this apostrophe using the example from the writing instructor’s comment, then I’ll use highlighting to identify all of the places I need to make this change, reading carefully to identify them.

 

Visual: The speaker fixes the apostrophe error and highlights all of the other places this same error appears in the paragraph and the following paragraphs of the paper, as follows:

Literacy leaders today are responsible for providing a literacy plan that will align with the vision, mission, and objectives of a district. In the District of Rutherford County, the vision’s focus is on the whole child, including the social, emotional, and educational needs of each individual student. Therefore, a literacy plan for the English language learners (ELL) program will create a culture of collaborative learning that encompasses the whole child, assuring success in the global community by preparing students to be college and career ready. Furthermore, the district mission is to assure the academic and personal success of each student by providing effective support and strategies for ELLs. Thus, the purpose of the literacy plan for a Title 1 school in Tennessee is to promote academic achievement for each child which also encourages students confidence, perseverance, resilience, and a desire for life-long learning.  

Audio: Now that I know where I need to make changes, I’ll go through and fix these errors.

 

Visual: The speaker fixes all of the highlighted errors, as follows:

Literacy leaders today are responsible for providing a literacy plan that will align with the vision, mission, and objectives of a district. In the District of Rutherford County, the vision’s focus is on the whole child, including the social, emotional, and educational needs of each individual student. Therefore, a literacy plan for the English language learners (ELL) program will create a culture of collaborative learning that encompasses the whole child, assuring success in the global community by preparing students to be college and career ready. Furthermore, the district’s mission is to assure the academic and personal success of each student by providing effective support and strategies for ELLs. Thus, the purpose of the literacy plan for a Title 1 school in Tennessee is to promote academic achievement for each child which also encourages students’ confidence, perseverance, resilience, and a desire for life-long learning. 

Audio: And the process continues! Next, I would continue to look for grammar errors throughout my paper and continue until I’ve implemented all of the grammar feedback I received. If this process seems complicated, trust us; it’ll get easier with time and practice.

 

Visual: The video ends with the following message: Walden University Writing Center

Questions? E-mail writingsupport@waldenu.edu