Video Transcripts:

Applying Feedback to Your Paper: APA Feedback

Visual: Walden logo at bottom of screen along with notepad and pencil background.

Audio: Guitar music.

 

Visual: “Walden University Writing Center. Your writing, grammar, and APA experts” appears in center of screen. Background changes to a laptop and notebook a person is writing in on a table with the title “Applying Feedback to Your Paper: APA Feedback.”

The screen then changes to show a sample paper with the following paragraph and feedback in a comment bubble from writing instructor Beth Nastachowski; the comment bubble is attached to the phrasing highlighted in the paragraph below:

The gastrointestinal (GI) tract is complex and essential to well-being. The GI system’s function is to break down ingested food and prepare it for digestion by the body’s cells, to provide water to the body, and to eliminate waste products (Huether and McCance, 2012). The GI tract extends from the mouth throughout the stomach to the rectum. Gastric acid is stimulated and produced within the GI tract. It plays a role in digestion and disease processes (McPhee and Hammer, 2010). The purpose of this paper is to discuss the pathophysiology of gastric acid stimulation and production and the changes that occur within the disorders of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), peptic ulcer disease (PUD), and gastritis. Additionally, this paper will discuss the factor of age in regards to the pathophysiology of these diseases, as well as the diagnoses and treatments.

Comment bubble:

Great job including your citation here! However, there’s one small formatting error. Instead of writing out “and”, within parentheses use the symbol “&” in a citation.

Here’s how this citation should look: (Huether & McCance, 2012).

Make this change here, then be sure to make this same change to your other citations, as needed.

As the speaker continues, she points out the APA error by circling it and the components of the feedback in the comment bubble.

Audio: In this video, we’ll focus on how to apply APA feedback to your writing. If you haven’t yet, be sure to watch our introductory video, “Applying Feedback Principles,” first.

What might that APA feedback look like?

Here’s an example: In this comment, the writing instructor is commenting on the APA format in the citation.

She begins by explaining the error, showing how to correct the error, and then asking the student to apply the change throughout the paper.

 

Visual: The speaker scrolls down to the next paragraph in the sample paper with the following paragraph and feedback in a comment bubble from writing instructor Beth Nastachowski; the comment bubble is attached to the phrasing highlighted in the paragraph below:

            The secretion of gastric acid (hydrochloric acid) is essential to digest food. It is influenced by different stimuli in different phases. During the cephalic phase gastric acid is stimulated by thought, smell, and taste of foods, the gastric phase is stimulated by the distention of the stomach, and the intestinal phase is stimulated by histamine and protein (Huether and Cance, 2012). Gastric acid is secreted and produced by the parietal cells of the gastric glands (McPhee & Hammer, 2010). The hydrolysis of water produces the acid while secretion happens from the stimulation of the vagus nerve that releases acetylcholine and stimulates gastrin secretion (Huether and McCance, 2012). Gastrin stimulates histamine in the gastric mucosa, which stimulates the acid secretion by the activated histamine receptors on the parietal cells (Huether and McCance, 2012, p. 877).

Comment bubble:

I noticed that you included the page number in this citation. Page numbers aren’t actually required for citations of paraphrases; instead, APA leaves it to you as the author to decide if it’s important enough for the reader to find this specific information and thus include the citation.

Consider whether this paraphrase fits those parameters, deleting the page number if it doesn’t seem necessary. 

As the speaker continues, she points out the APA error by circling it and the components of the feedback in the comment bubble.

Audio: Here’s another example: Here as well, the writing instructor is commenting on the APA error, explaining how to correctly use the APA rule, and giving the student directions to consider this rule.

Note that in this second example, the writing instructor doesn’t explicitly ask the student to apply this rule throughout the paper. However, the student should still do so; whether the person giving you feedback explicitly asks you to apply the feedback or not, the reality is that we often make similar mistakes throughout our writing. So, even when you aren’t explicitly asked to apply feedback in your writing, make sure you do so anyways.

 

Visual: The screen changes to show the following slide: Appropriate Revision Strategies

Highlighting: underlining, circling

Word’s search function: CTRL + F

Audio: Before we look at how to apply APA feedback throughout your paper, let’s talk about the revision strategies we recommend you use when applying APA feedback.

First, try highlighting or some form of highlighting, like underlining or circling. Identify the APA error you need to revise for, then read through your draft looking just for that error. Mark any other errors of the same APA rule you see, then once you’ve gone through your entire paper, go back to those highlights to fix them.

Second, try the search function in Word, which you can also use via the shortcut CTRL+F. Search for the error, using Word to help you identify the places you need to make changes.

 

Visual: The screen changes back to the sample paper.

Audio: Now that we know what APA feedback might look like and the revision strategies we might use to correct APA errors, let’s apply this feedback in the paper. Here’s our first comment about changing “and” to use the ampersand symbol for parenthetical citations. I’m going to use highlighting to identify all of the places I need to make this change.

 

Visual: The speaker highlights all of the other places this same error appears in the paragraph and the following paragraphs of the paper, as follows:

The gastrointestinal (GI) tract is complex and essential to well-being. The GI system’s function is to break down ingested food and prepare it for digestion by the body’s cells, to provide water to the body, and to eliminate waste products (Huether and McCance, 2012). The GI tract extends from the mouth throughout the stomach to the rectum. Gastric acid is stimulated and produced within the GI tract. It plays a role in digestion and disease processes (McPhee and Hammer, 2010). The purpose of this paper is to discuss the pathophysiology of gastric acid stimulation and production and the changes that occur within the disorders of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), peptic ulcer disease (PUD), and gastritis. Additionally, this paper will discuss the factor of age in regards to the pathophysiology of these diseases, as well as the diagnoses and treatments.

The secretion of gastric acid (hydrochloric acid) is essential to digest food. It is influenced by different stimuli in different phases. During the cephalic phase gastric acid is stimulated by thought, smell, and taste of foods, the gastric phase is stimulated by the distention of the stomach, and the intestinal phase is stimulated by histamine and protein (Huether and Cance, 2012). Gastric acid is secreted and produced by the parietal cells of the gastric glands (McPhee and Hammer, 2010). The hydrolysis of water produces the acid while secretion happens from the stimulation of the vagus nerve that releases acetylcholine and stimulates gastrin secretion (Huether and McCance, 2012). Gastrin stimulates histamine in the gastric mucosa, which stimulates the acid secretion by the activated histamine receptors on the parietal cells (Huether and McCance, 2012, p. 877).

GERD is a disease that causes GI complications that can be serious and long-lasting. GERD is the return of stomach contents into the esophagus that causes complications such as bleeding and dysphagia (Huether and McCance, 2012, p. 944). The reflux of chyme (acidic fluid from the stomach) occurs due to the relaxation of the esophageal sphincter one to two hours after eating (Walden University, LLC, 2012). This results in esophagitis depending upon the acidity of the chyme and the length of time that the esophagus is exposed (Walden University, LLC, 2012).

Gastroesophageal reflux can affect people of all ages. Reflux is normal in newborns due an underdeveloped neuromuscular control of the gastroesophageal sphincter (Huether and McCance, 2012). Many infants may have reflux but may be asymptomatic (Huether and McCance, 2012, p. 944). The prevalence of GERD increases with age with older adults being more likely to suffer severe complications than younger people (Lee, 2009). Older age is associated independently with an increase acid exposure, a decrease in intraabdominal length, an increase in esophageal dysmotility, and an increase of ineffective peristalsis (Lee, 2009).

Audio: Now that I know where I need to make changes, I’ll go through and fix these errors.

 

Visual: The speaker fixes all of the highlighted errors, as follows:

The gastrointestinal (GI) tract is complex and essential to well-being. The GI system’s function is to break down ingested food and prepare it for digestion by the body’s cells, to provide water to the body, and to eliminate waste products (Huether & McCance, 2012). The GI tract extends from the mouth throughout the stomach to the rectum. Gastric acid is stimulated and produced within the GI tract. It plays a role in digestion and disease processes (McPhee & Hammer, 2010). The purpose of this paper is to discuss the pathophysiology of gastric acid stimulation and production and the changes that occur within the disorders of gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), peptic ulcer disease (PUD), and gastritis. Additionally, this paper will discuss the factor of age in regards to the pathophysiology of these diseases, as well as the diagnoses and treatments.

The secretion of gastric acid (hydrochloric acid) is essential to digest food. It is influenced by different stimuli in different phases. During the cephalic phase gastric acid is stimulated by thought, smell, and taste of foods, the gastric phase is stimulated by the distention of the stomach, and the intestinal phase is stimulated by histamine and protein (Huether & Cance, 2012). Gastric acid is secreted and produced by the parietal cells of the gastric glands (McPhee & Hammer, 2010). The hydrolysis of water produces the acid while secretion happens from the stimulation of the vagus nerve that releases acetylcholine and stimulates gastrin secretion (Huether & McCance, 2012). Gastrin stimulates histamine in the gastric mucosa, which stimulates the acid secretion by the activated histamine receptors on the parietal cells (Huether & McCance, 2012, p. 877).

GERD is a disease that causes GI complications that can be serious and long-lasting. GERD is the return of stomach contents into the esophagus that causes complications such as bleeding and dysphagia (Huether & McCance, 2012, p. 944). The reflux of chyme (acidic fluid from the stomach) occurs due to the relaxation of the esophageal sphincter one to two hours after eating (Walden University, LLC, 2012). This results in esophagitis depending upon the acidity of the chyme and the length of time that the esophagus is exposed (Walden University, LLC, 2012).

Gastroesophageal reflux can affect people of all ages. Reflux is normal in newborns due an underdeveloped neuromuscular control of the gastroesophageal sphincter (Huether & McCance, 2012). Many infants may have reflux but may be asymptomatic (Huether & McCance, 2012, p. 944). The prevalence of GERD increases with age with older adults being more likely to suffer severe complications than younger people (Lee, 2009). Older age is associated independently with an increase acid exposure, a decrease in intraabdominal length, an increase in esophageal dysmotility, and an increase of ineffective peristalsis (Lee, 2009).

Audio: And the process continues! Next, I would apply that second APA comment we saw, implementing it throughout my paper and continue until I’ve implemented all of the APA feedback I received. If this process seems complicated, trust us; it’ll get easier with time and practice.

 

Visual: The video ends with the following message: Walden University Writing Center

Questions? E-mail writingsupport@mail.waldenu.edu